living I relationships
SI
T h in g s to
K now B efore
th e Big D ay
M a r r i a g e is a w o n d e r f u l b o n d t h a t l e a d s t o a l i f e t i m e
o f s h a r e d j o y a n d c o m p a n i o n s h i p . T h e s e q u e s t i o n s
w ill h e l p y o u , a p a r t n e r o r a l o v e d o n e s t a r t r i g h t .
BY
VASUDHA RAI
M
ost get married wearing
rose-tinted glasses,
thinking that it will
last forever. For some
it does and others it
doesn’t. While there may be no way to
shatter-proof marriage, you can begin
this journey by asking a few pre-emptive
questions. Absorb these tips by our
experts Dr Poojashivam Jaitly, Clinical
Psychologist, Moolchand Medcity, Delhi;
Dr Samir Parikh, HOD, Mental Health
& Behavioural Sciences, Max Healthcare
Delhi; Sonal Mattoo, Lawyer, Delhi; and
share them with someone you care about
who is getting married.
Ask Yourself
Sometimes a failed marriage can
be traced back to getting married for the
wrong reasons. People get married when
they want to escape something, like a
failed relationship or to get even with
an ex who is getting married. Others do
it because they want that special day or
monetary comfort. Today marriage is
not mandatory—there are many people
well into their 40s who are comfortably
unmarried. Our experts suggest the
best time to get married is when you are
financially independent so that you can
take care of yourself and have something
else to occupy yourself with, other than
just matrimony. Get married if you are
in love and want a companion for life,
but not just because you’re the right age.
©
Common Values
Couples across generations,
have faced issues trying to match their
personalities. Today, the difficulty is
exacerbated because men and women
have similar needs and drives. In the
case of love marriages, a girl from a
liberal background, when married into
a traditional family, will face problems
concerning her attire, late-night
dinners, or even her work life. While
it is impossible to match similarity
for similarity, a synchronization of
common goals and value systems makes
it easy to go through life together.
This synchronization can only happen
through a clear, open channel of
communication where these value
systems are laid down in the open. It is
BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
\
DECEMBER
2011
PHOTOGRAPH: LWA/GETTYIMAGES
